A Unique Person
by Girly Guilmon
Summary: Eric, a slightly confused and clumsy... Thing, goes on an adventure and finds there is much more to him and his partner than he originally thought... Sports some heavy yaoi content later on, so rated M. Don't like, don't read, simple as that.
1. Chapter 1

Ah, hello there reader! I have to warn you, I am a very crazy, perverted person and must AXEW not to flame my stories. If you do flame, I will roast you alive over them with no remorse.~

Constructive criticism, however, is quite welcome. Encouraged actually, so please... Read and Review. And don't forget to RECYCLE!

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Ah, hello there. My name is Eric, But people generally call me the "Wotter boy". Why you may ask? Well, you'll just have to find out!

"Eric! Get up! You're late!"

Oops, looks like I slept in again! I have to go! Like... Now!

I race to get my clothes on, throwing on my underwear, baggy jeans and a cyan jacket. In my rush, my overgrown teardrop-like tail knocked over a bottle of India Ink, causing it to spill all over the carpet. Well... Fuck.

If you've ever spilled India Ink on something like your shirt, you should know by now that its almost impossible to get the stain out. Thank arceus I shed my fur, I've spilled said dark liquid on myself a number of times, all in which I freak out.

I quickly run into my bathroom and look into the mirror. Yup, that's me all right. Light blue bed hair, some black kitten-like ears, and some flipper feet. Oh, and don't forget that black tail and my amber eyes! Sometimes people say they can see my eyes in the night, so I'm kind of questioning if I could be a cross between a human and a dewott... Or something else. Hmm...

I thrust my right hand into the sink and turned it on, allowing the water to flow all over my paw. When it was thoroughly soaked I turned the contraption off and started to flatten my bad hairdo. Stupid bed hair.

Next I started to brush my teeth, picking up my tooth brush and spreading that sinister tasting paste onto it. Then I jabbed it into my mouth and brushed as fast as I could. Looking back at the mirror, I looked like I was deep throating a toothbrush... Wait, where the hell did that thought come from!?

I quickly spat out into the sink, washed the dirty brush, and shoved it back into its drawer. I then picked up two shells from the counter and hurried downstairs into the kitchen, only to run straight out the door with no thoughts about breakfast whatsoever.

I thought that maybe today I would be less clumsy than usual, especially since I was trying not to make a fool of myself. I changed my mind after I tripped over a piece of GOD DAMN GRAVEL and face planted into the ground. I threw a fit of agony and got back up, only to fall over again on another piece of satanic rock. Seriously, today is rough, and it hasn't even been an hour since I've woken up! Furthermore, I think I forgot to pack my cheese. Yup, definitely missing my cheese.

What cheese you may ask? Well, my family is weird so as a family heirloom, we pass down an a thousand-year old block of swiss cheese. Sheesh, I can only imagine the wonders it could unleash on your unsuspecting stomach! Its terrifying!

Back on the subject of where I am going. Let me explain, I have just turned ten, which means I am able to get one of three pocket monsters from Professor Juniper. Of course, I had to be late, so I am scrambling to the lab so she doesn't flip. You see, Juniper has a case of MAJOR BIPOLAR DISORDER, and if I piss her off, she could literally go on a rampage around town. Don't want angry scientists tearing down houses, do we? Reminds me of Princess Peach in those Mario games.

I finally manage to get off the ground and get back to walking, until that mentally insane shaymin decides to fly straight into my face, scream something about cookies, and fly away. I sat there, pondering, and then realized I was just wasting more time! I scrambled to the lab, which was decorated in, might I say, vibrant reds and deep greens. I think there was some blues and yellows in there are well. It looked like a giant child splattered paint all over a canvas, but then he or she splattered every color they had on this one spot on the canvas. Now that I come to think of it, the child could have been a hermaphrodite. Hmm.

As I walked up the steps of the quite colorful lab, I noticed the pink door and opened it, stepping into the lab. The interior of the lab was actually quite bland compared to the outside. White walls and grey floors really, nothing exciting. But standing in the middle was a middle-aged professor, her feet tapping on the floor and her face... Her face was scrunched up in a way that said "Just don't fuck with me today". I smiled sheepishly, almost nervously and greeted her in the most informal fashion I could. "It's quite a good day out, isn't it professor?" I said in the most casual sounding voice I could muster, trying to mask my now growing nervousness.

"You're late," the professor responded, rancor practically woven into her speech, kind of like a quilt. "Yeah, um... I'm sorry about that professor... You see-" I began, "No excuses Eric. When you're late, you're late. By the way, it looks like you got hit by sixteen garbage trucks, eaten up by a haxorus, which then spat you out in its attempt to stomach your inexcusable lateness." "Actually, I tripped over some gravel at least five times and got hit in the face by that crazy shaymin. No garbage truck or haxorus, though that would be much more exciting," I laughed.

"Anyways, let's get you a Pokémon, shall we? After all, you went through all that trouble to get here, so it would be a waste of time if I were to just tell you to go home and catch your own," she stated, seemingly still annoyed by my late appearance in the lab. "Eheheh, right..."

The professor led me over to an elaborate cherry table, on which three marble-sized red and white spheres rested. "Well... Which will it be, Eric?"


	2. Chapter 2

There I stood, with the three pokéballs in front of me, the professor waiting for me to make my decision. I picked up the first ball, which was labeled with a leaf, "You don't mind if I 'inspect' each one first, do you?" I asked, the professor shook her head "I don't mind, go ahead." Out came a snivy, who seemed to have a calm and confident, almost smug stature. I bent down and tried to start a conversation, "Hi there, I'm Eric… I was wondering if you could tell me a little about yourself?" The snivy looked at me quizzically and then laughed, I guess he just isn't much of a social type. "Professor, why is this blue haired mongoose talking to me?" It asked, aware that Juniper wouldn't understand a single word, I guess it just underestimated me however, since I could understand every single word.

"I'm not a mongoose!" I exclaimed, "I'm a... Actually, I don't know what I am but I'm definitely not a mongoose!" The snivy, slightly freaked out, had ran under the table. "I guess you just aren't much of a social type, are you Snivy? Oh well..." I returned the snivy to its ball and released the contents of the second ball, which was labeled with a drop of water, and out came an oshawott which looked at me like I was some strange specimen or something. "Sir, might I ask who you are?" It asked. I stifled a laugh. The otter pokémon had a heavy British accent and he wore a white lab coat, I wonder how THAT got in the ball...?

"My name's Eric, nice to meet you," I said in an informal matter. "Ah, might I ask what your species is called? I haven't seen anything like you before," Oshawott asked, examining my hand, which freaked me out a little. "Actually, I don't know what species I am," I stated nervously. "I see," it muttered, "I assume you're race is similar to a homo sapien sapien?" "Um... What?" I asked.

"A homo sapien sapien, more commonly known as a human, is a bipedal creature with a high intellect. Instead of actually using that intellect, they're too caught up in judging other humans. Its quite pointless, if I do say so myself," the otter said, trying a little too hard to sound like Juniper. Its hilarious because he sounded nothing like her, in fact, it sounded like a dead spheal!

I went straight to the third ball and returned the... Ahem, scientist to its ball. I then let out the contents of the third ball, which was labeled wit h a fire sticker. At first I thought it would be a charmander but squirtle and bulbasaur weren't there so I had my doubts, and then I heard one of the readers scream "Eric, you're so stupid!" He looked around the room quizzically, "What the fuck?"

"Well... Um... Go fire type?" I said, not sure what pocket monster was inside the ball. "Eric, do you know of the Unova starters, because it seems that you're avoiding assigning names to the Pokémon before releasing them into the world," asked Professor Juniper. I responded in a way similar to a duck, scrunching up his face and saying "Nope, I'm too busy trying to look like a walrus to research starters!"

"For your information, Eric, you look more like a duck," Juniper sighed in a slightly amused fashion, "The three Unova starters consist of oshawott, snivy, and tepig." I twitched, I was still holding the ball! Instead of waiting for me to release it, the Pokémon just came out by itself! It looked a lot like a pig actually... Pretty cute, but I still wanted a charmander.

The tepig looked up at me with a face of curiosity, not similar to Oshawott's though. More of a general curiosity than a focused curiosity. I sat down on my knees, "Hello there," I said, wondering what this one would be like... How it would present its personality. Guess what happened next? It sat too and said, "Good morning!" In a warm and confident voice, almost demonstrating how this particular fire type seems to warm up to people very easily, "How are you?"

"Lovely," I stated, in an act of badinage. The pig giggled, "Sure! You're face looks all bloody! Of course you're having a wonderful time!", it said facetiously. I laughed, "I fell on a rock and got hit in the face by a shaymin ! I'd say its been a pretty good day." This little guy was definitely a keeper.

"Tepig, how would you feel about going on a journey with me?" I asked, my voice filled with anticipation. "That would be great!" It yelled and pranced around like a little kid that managed to get high on caffeine or sugar, except for instead of a kid it was a red and black pig that spits fire, "Can we? Can we?" It started to hop around as well. What a silly pig! "I guess its settled then," said the Professor, "From now on, this tepig is your responsibility, Eric." I pocketed the ball and opened the door, "Thanks for everything, Juniper!" And at that, me and my tepig started a new chapter in our lives.

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Well, finished the second chapter pretty quickly... Have a nice day people! R&R~


	3. Chapter 3

"Any idea where the hell we are?" I asked, we were lost... Very lost. "Nope," the pig responded, "No idea! I'd guess we're on route 1 though." I sighed, "That's kind of obvious..." The tepig looked up at me, "C'mon, lighten up! We're going to get out of this forest sooner or later! I just know it!" How would he know THAT? "What are we going to do? Just walk straight until we run into a city?" I asked. "Basically!" it pranced around, with very little worry about what was going on. Just then, the shaymin decided to fly in my face a second time today. "COOKIES!" It yelled. "WHAT ABOUT THEM?!" I screamed back in animosity, "CAN YOU JUST STOP FLYING INTO MY FACE PLEASE?!"

The shaymin looked at me terrified. It was never screamed at, and wondered if the world was going to end or something. "M-m-my bad s-sir," it stuttered. "Whatever," I rolled my eyes, this guy was annoying in so many ways. First, he comes up to my window and knocks on it, screaming something about a place in between Kanto and Johto, then he flies into my face twice in one day! Furthermore, yelling "Cookies!" while doing so... Seriously, this guy needs a psychiatrist.

Somewhere in between my thoughts of rancor towards the shaymin, I remembered that Juniper didn't give me a pokédex! Argh! The only good thing that has happened today is getting my starter pokémon! "Ugh," I sighed, "Juniper forgot to give me a pokédex and pokéballs." Tepig mumbled something about running out of something and my ears perked up, "What was that?" Tepig looked up at me and said "Juniper is out of stock on pokédexes, so she's going to be sending you one through the mail at the center." I shook my head, "Looks like we're going to have to return to this route later on," I looked around, noting the sudden absence of a white and green reindeer, "Damn, that guy's fast." I also noted the setting sun.

"We should set up camp here for the night," I said, there was no way we we're going to be able to get out of this forest tonight, its going to be too dark soon. Besides, I don't want to be raped by an ursaring or something. "Agreed," the tepig responded. I put my back pack on the ground, took out my tent, and got work.

After we finished setting up the tent, we went out and gathered firewood and we started a fire to keep the animals away from the campsite. "Hey, Eric, why don't I have a name like you?" the tepig asked. "So you're saying you want a name?" I responded in a quizzical manner. The tepig nodded. I thought for a bit, "Okay, from now on you'll be known as Griffin, the intriguing pig!" I exclaimed. Griffin laughed, "Well alright!"

After the fire went out, we went inside our tent and talked about our plan for tomorrow. "We could head northeast to that town over there," I pointed to a town in between Route 1 and Route 2, what was the name of it again? Oh well. "We could head west and end up in Treasure Town, the biggest pokémon colony in Unova," the pig said, slightly dazed from the long night. "Treasure Town? Never heard of it," I stated, "What's it like?" Griffin somehow pulled out his own map from one of his hooves and gave it to me, and what do you know... Its even labeled as "Map of Treasure Town." I noticed the large wigglytuff-like structure at a crossroad and asked, "Hey, what's this?" The tepig looked and responded, "That's wigglytuff's guild. Since we're most likely only going to be staying in the town for one night, we really won't have to worry about all these things."

"So, what's the guild for?" I asked, still curious about this large and pink building in the middle of the town, "Like, is it a blacksmith's guild or something?" The tepig shook his head, slightly amused, "It's an exploration guild," he stated. "Oh." The tepig sighed, "Treasure Town is not that really safe of a place though, its riddled with criminals." Well, we can avoid that place then, I thought. "I think we should just head northeast, it takes shorter and there is less of a risk of getting killed that way," the tepig said tiredly, "Anyways, we should get to sleep, today's been hectic." I nodded, I was tired too. Tomorrow, northeast!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, me and Griffin set our sights on Accumula town. Of course, there was still no trace of the cookie crazed shaymin, so we were safe from mental insanity for a bit. Griffin was dead set on becoming a fatty, so he started to eat anything he could see, which included him trying to eat my pants. Can you believe it? MY PANTS. They're the only pair I have!

After all that, we packed up and started heading down the road towards Accumula, and I end up tripping again! For fuck sake, how many times must I trip on pebbles? Seriously! Even better is that I fell face first into a puddle of mud! Now my fur is dirty! DAMMIT!

Almost immediately after I fell, Griffin checked to see if I was okay. Once we got walking again, he asked a question that confused me. "Eric, um… What's your viewpoint on homosexuality?" he asked. Like I said before, I was confused, "I believe people should be allowed to love whomever they like..." I paused, "Why?" The tepig looked down and stuttered, "O-Oh… Um… N-No reason!" If I was correct, he was blushing! What's going on with this guy? First he tries to eat my pants… And now he's getting flustered from a simple question! We kept walking.

A couple minutes later, and we were in that beautiful Accumula Pokémon center. Even better, the shaymin from before was screaming dubstep at the nurse, who was staring at him in a quizzical manner, probably silently laughing to herself. "How may I help you?" she asked, in an amused fashion towards the shaymin. Similar to when a lillipup sees a pachirisu and decides "Y'know, I think I'm just gonna creep this poor squirrel out for fun~!" The shaymin continued spraying dubstep out of his orifice. "WHOOOP WA WA WOOOOOB! GIVE. ME. COOKIES! WA WA WA WOOOOB WOOB WOOB!" I giggled at the shaymin's sudden antics, and I think I heard Griffin trying to stifle a laugh as well. He couldn't. "HAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Mr. Shaymin, are you doing this to waste my time? If so, could you please leave? I have Pokémon to tend to!" the nurse said to the cookie crazed, dubstepping shaymin, "Plus, I have to clean the damn fountain today!" But the shaymin continued, "I. WANT. COOKIES. WA WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WOOB! WAAAA WUBWUWU WUB WUB WOOOOOOB!" Joy sighed, frustrated with the shaymin's persistence, yelled, "OH REALLY, THE ONLY COOKIES I HAVE ARE HOSPITAL FLAVORED! I PRESUME YOU DON'T LIKE THAT FLAVOR VERY MUCH, DO YOU?!" Everyone in the center jumped, even the old hobo in the corner with the flaming pocket watch.

"Nyeh?" it said, "Any flavor will do as long as I have my cookies!" The nurse punched the shaymin in the face, knocking it out, and pulled it into the nursing area. "Son of a bitch," she murmured. "They ain't know when to shut up do they?" another guy asked. After that, I stopped paying much attention to what was going on, and just walked up to the large blue stand seamlessly in the center of the center. Wow. And just my luck, the person running the stand had a hook for a hand.

"Could I have a five pokéballs please?" I asked, slightly scared by the man's appearance. Obviously he has to be wearing a cape too. CAPTAIN HOOK! HA! "What kind of pokéballs?" he asked, apparently disgusted at everything in his vicinity… "J-Just normal pokéballs please!" I know normal pokéballs aren't very effective in catching Pokémon, but c'mon, we're in between route 1 and route 2! The Pokémon around here aren't as serious as the ones in later routes! They would be effective enough for me to assemble a team if I ever need one.

The man handed me my five pokéballs in exchange for some pokédollars, and me and Griffin rented a room at the center for the night. The rest of the day, we screwed around. We ate icecream, saw a couple battles. Hell, the shaymin had a beatboxing battle with some other dude from Aspertia! It was a good, long day. After the long and fun day, me and Griffin headed to our room to get cleaned up and hit the hay.

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You may have noticed I have moved the story rating to M. That was because, as I stated before, there will be yaoi content later in the story. We just need a little bit more characterization before I can drop a lust bomb. :3


	5. Chapter 5

Eric was in the shower, and here I am, basking in glory on his bed and smelling like a shit took a shit. Furthermore, my fur was sticking up like a mad scientist and my tail was twitching in anger. Not that I was mad, my tail was mad at me, it said it couldn't believe "The Moron" picked me! Eric is not a moron! Fuck him. Why did I have to have a jerk for a tail…?

So anyways, I was laying on Eric's bed and he comes out of the shower completely naked, with no regard to my presence. My face turned a beet red, "E-Eric? P-Please! U-Use a towel or something!" Eric laughed nervously, he seemed very jumpy all of a sudden, "Griffin, if y-you can be naked w-why can't I?" he asked. I looked away and giggled uncontrollably. How ironic was this? Humans easily become embarrassed of being naked, but little old Eric seemed to think differently. Wait… Was he even human? Now that I think about it, I don't think he looks too much like one.

"J-Just put something on!" I yelled, "You're a human, you're _supposed_ to wear clothes!" Eric sighed, turned around, and put something on. "Griffin, I am no human, I'm something different. Something unique." Hmm… Unique? I laughed internally, "You still assume the role of a human!" Eric frowned, scratched his neck a bit, then, in a half toned voice said "I cannot play the role of a human. Nobody treats my like one, in fact… They treat me like a monster. I've been alone my entire life simply because of this body and I hate it. So don't dare compare me to those jackasses."

W-What? What was that? "E-Eric, you do have rivals though, right?" I asked, not so sure of how to respond. I thought he was joking, I thought he would at least have somebody to compete with. Eric sighed, "No, I've never even had a rival. Only enemies." I was disappointed at what he had just said. This guy needs somebody in his life, and I swear I will find someone to fill that spot. A rival, friend, accomplice, ANYONE for him to at least talk to for a while, keep him company… Wait… I am that person. I'm talking to him right now! I sound like an idiot too!

"Griffin. My father was a dewott and my mother is a human. I'm a freak, get it? No matter how I act people will always treat me like a freak. Its just how things are," he turned around to face me, wearing a… "WHAT? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING A TUTU?" I screamed, shocked. So, Eric… What the hell are you up to? Because you're cross dressing in my face. "BECAUSE I WANT TO AND ITS NOT A TUTU, IT'S A SKIRT!" His face turned completely red, like a tomato painted in blood. Yeah, that kind of red. Of course, that's when my bladder gives way. "GRIFFIN, WHAT THE FUCK? YOU'RE PEEING ON THE BED!" I didn't care, his completely red face scared me. In fact, his flustered face was so red I had a nervous breakdown right there. I should've told him earlier, I have a phobia of extreme redness of the face. Great.

The boy picked me up and rocked me like a baby. "H-Hey, c-calm down G-Griffin! W-Why are you shivering so much?" he asked of me, of course the only thing I could get out is "Y-Your face." Eric frowned, then grinned mischievously. What could he be thinking? "You know what is ten times more terrifying than my face?" he asked, he seemed to be trying to hold a laugh back, "H-Huh, what mama?" I also grinned, this could be fun. "Your tail. Its growling at me in an animus fashion. Quite stylish if I say so myself!" he stated sinisterly, and then he broke out laughing and fell over, taking me down with him. Sheesh, what a lunatic. If he's a moron, he's a funny one.

I tried to stand up, but Eric had me locked in a bear hug. I squirmed a bit and Eric gripped me harder. Then I felt his thin, wet tongue slide against my face. I stopped struggling and I blushed. "E-Eric, w-what are you doing?" He grinned and winked at me "I don't know, but your face is sure tasty!" And then he collapsed. Geez, what a weirdo.

And there goes my tail, screaming off insults about Eric again. "Shut up Devin! You're such a jackass to him! What did he ever do to you? Its not like he punched you in the face like I have to do to you every day!" I sighed. I just can't wait until I evolve, then I'll have a completely new tail that, hopefully won't be as much of a put down as Devin. Besides, I'll be much stronger! Maybe I'll go back to my old territory and beat the shit out of those umbreon who killed my mother and father. Sounds fun.

I shut my eyes. At least I'll be fatter than I am right now. Then I can tackle Eric whenever he wears a skirt again… Ahahah…

The next morning, me and Eric set our sights on the daycare. Eric said he needed to meet someone there, but last night, if I recall… He said he had no friends, so who could it be? Anyways, we started heading towards Striaton City, and guess who we ran into again? The green and white lunatic! That's right! The shaymin from before! This time, he was wearing a purple scarf with large blue print that spelled out Yuki. So, this guy was named Yuki huh?

"Oh hey there Yuki, still going on about cookies, or have you moved onto cake?" I asked, seriously this guy is so silly sometimes. Town goofball has became the region goofball. I dare anyone to be sillier than him. "My name isn't Yuki, its Yu. Yuki was the closest I could find to it," the shaymin stated, and I just stood there, acting flabbergasted while on the inside I was laughing. "You're me? Wow, that's pretty deep Yuki!"

"Blah blah blah, I just want the cookies you guys owe me for distracting the nurse from my awesomeness. Now fork them over," this guy is insane… Truly insane. In fact, he deserves an award. "Yu, no cookies for you. You can take my tail though! It's a bitch!" Yu frowned, "I don't want a bitch, I'm attracted to cookies!" Eric laughed, and so did I. This guy is so freaking silly, for crying out loud he must be trying. "Y-Yu, s-stop trying to be so funny!" Yu stared at us both, "I am not trying to be funny, I'm serious! I'm a victim of mental insanity and you know it!"

We laughed more, and then for the second time this week my bladder gave away. Am I having problems? What the is up with my organs? They smoking pot in there or something? Seriously, All Eric has to take in the morning is an alza36! I have to rely on pig meat to make it through the day… I forgot who I was for a moment there, sorry.

I grabbed the shaymin by the ear and dragged him over to Eric. "We should get going. We've still got a ways to go," I said, man, the shaymin was heavy… Wait, that makes sense. I didn't notice before but he's really FAT. All those cookies must be getting to him. "Alright, look out Striaton City, a certain blue person and an orange pig are comin' through with an overweight shaymin!" Eric exclaimed loudly, almost oblivious to both of our sensitive ears. Almost. "Uh… S-Sorry about that. I mean, your ears."

Devin, if he's a moron, he's a pretty cute moron at that.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh look! Its finally done! Chapter 6!

I'm just warnin' you guys, it gets pretty ludicrous in this chapter!

Also, see if you can spot the reference. :3

If you can't, then you've missed out on the best book ever published.

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Ah, Striaton City, home of dreams and a five star restaurant. We finally got there after about thirty to forty minutes of brutal sprinting. Yup, turns out Griffin is that kind of a guy who has a shit ton of stamina. Silly pig, always full of energy. He seems to bounce with his steps too, which reminds me a bit of a kangaroo.

I'm heading over to the daycare to stay for the night, since the owners of it are my aunt and uncle. Their little girl loves to piss me off or embarrass me. Whenever I wear my skirt around her she flicks it up as if she was checking to see if I was still a guy. Kind of weird, but I guess that's a little stupid of me to say. But before any of that, we were going to have a look around the city since I wasn't ready for that hell hole and it was still only four o'clock. To put that in perspective, I usually eat dinner around eight or nine o'clock. There was still about four more hours left to prowl around.

I was looking at a massive billboard which clearly read, in large friendly letters "DON'T PANIC" with some steampunk artwork on it. Hmm… Where did that come from? Hmm… And where the hell did Griffin go?

As I looked around for the rascal, I spotted some crazy trainer in the plaza with a serperior and a pokéball visor, doing battle with the previous champion Iris. Wait… Isn't that… Nate? Whoa, no way! What was the current champion doing here? One powerful trainer was good enough!

Nate, on the blue side, was currently in the defensive. He was practically spewing out a jumble of words trying to get the upper hand. He was using a mixture of Swords Dance and Light Screen. Knowing his battle style (from watching him, of course) he was a very… Unpredictable opponent. A while later, once he couldn't use Swords Dance and Light screen any more and his serperior was all battered up, he used Baton Pass and threw out his Registeel, which made a couple random beeping sounds that probably only a porygon could understand.

Iris' pokemon, which was a haxorus, much like Nate's serperior, was really beaten up. Hmm, I wonder how that could have happened? I mean, its not every day you get to see that haxorus out in battle in the first place! Let alone this close to fainting!

As I took my attention off of the two trainers, I noticed the rascal tepig running up near the battleground, somehow completely clueless to the little sparring session. I ran over and swooped him up. Everyone saw me. Plumbers, surfers, musicians, maybe the occasional evil mastermind who wants to rape you. Yeah, I guess that covers pretty much everyone in the mix of people who didn't matter, as they all knew that they were all bat shit insane. They also knew that I was somewhat bat shit insane too. No, who I really had to worry about was the skinny girl with the big ass samurott. She also had a pokéball visor, though it was white and the pokéball design was pink. I think her name was Rosa, yeah, Nate's little sister.

For any of you who have never met Rosa, she's a complete racist fuck. Just write that down in your notes people. WRITE IT DOWN.

She was glaring. At me. Why? I'm fluffy! Oh wait, I think that might be the issue.

She pointed at me and the samurott just sort of shook his head and ran at me, unsheathing one of his big ass swords. Damn, what the fuck? "I'm sorry," he said, well I don't care. I want to keep my life, thank you very much! I ran. No. I fucking CHARGED through a cloud of confused, insignificant characters as I screamed for my dear life. "DEAR LIFE, I LOVE YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"

After a while of sprinting, screaming, flailing, and causing utter mind fucks from the commotion, I finally managed to outrun that hell-bent samurott. Or at least it seemed that way. I finally calmed down and that's when Griffin decided to make a comment. "Well, that lady sure was nice!" Like I asked before, what the fuck is up with this guy? "You call murderous intent friendly? Are you crazy?" I asked, with a ludicrously shaped face that none could even comprehend its strangeness. "Yes. I am bat shit insane, like all those other people. You called your writer insane too by the way." Oh well, its not like they're a musician or anything. That would be a nightmare.

Suddenly, I heard someone in the clouds singing something about their feelings being hurt and how they were going to make sure that Rosa came back to haunt me in my sleep. Damn it, they are a musician! And an electronic one at that. I should stop breaking the fourth wall already. I've done it way to much.

Just then, Rosa found me. She pulled out a knife and put it around my neck. "You're gonna die, you sick blue fuck." No I'm not, I'm going to live. "If you don't take that knife away from my neck right now I'm going to have to destroy you!~ I'll enjoy tearing you apart limb from limb~," I said in the most cheery voice I could mimic. I wanted to scare the fuck out of her. She didn't bite. She wasn't a tuna apparently. Then I remembered the sign from before. "You should panic. Its bad for your health," I said. Rosa just screamed . "HOW DID YOU KNOW? I'M ALERGIC TO PANIC!" She ran off, just like that. Wow, that was easy.

I frowned, hopefully there weren't going to be many more of those kind of people on my journey. The whole reason I became a trainer in the first place was to find my father. He disappeared suddenly without any note or trace of where he went. It really pulls at my leg.

But perhaps, that may not be the real reason I left my hometown. Maybe it was because I was tired of being treated like a monster and I wanted to be acknowledged by somebody. Acknowledged in a good way, unlike how Rosa acknowledges me. Yeah, I met her before, that's how I know about her name. Back then I used to wear a shawl and cover my face in bandages, so she probably doesn't remember me. I always would beat her at chess, she cried like a bitch every time. Ahhh… Good times.

Well, there's no point in delaying anymore, I guess its time to go to the daycare. Hopefully they don't make me force mating again, that was gross.

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Okay, thats it! Please review!~


	7. Chapter 7

Ghhhh! That Rosa girl! Eric said he had some kind of business with her but I'd think otherwise… For some reason she really gets on my nerves… And I don't even know her!

I paced around the guest room some, muttering to myself. That fucking bitch taking away my time with Eric! W-Wait. What am I saying?!

Its been over two hours since Eric left the house, and I was getting bored. I thought I would maybe eat some of the candies Eric set beside the table for me… I guess one won't hurt.

I jumped up on the table and shoved one in my mouth… It was sweet, with a little tanginess. Almost immediately afterwards I started to glow a bright blue. My face began to flatten, and I managed to stand up on two legs. I grew more than twice my size as ornate designs covered my chest and my tail puffed up. To cut it short, I evolved!

The table gave way and I toppled. A large bang filled the house as I face planted into the floor and yelped. My years flashed before me as I spazzed on the floor.

An hour of spazzing later and a blue, furry figure walked into the room. Seeing me thrashing on the floor and he held me down. "Calm down Griffin!" I continued to thrash some more until eventually he gave me a kiss on the forehead and I fell into a trance-like sleep.

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Yeah yeah, very short chapter I know.


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